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I resolve to make no resolutions

It’s the time of year again when people begin to realize just how much they ate over the holidays and start making all kinds of resolutions to lose weight and eat healthier during the coming year.

I only plan to make one resolution this year, and that’s to make no resolutions.

I’ve never been much for making them anyway. After all, I know me and, therefore, know it’s a waste of time.

When all is said and done, I’ll never keep them – just like 95 percent of the people who make them. So, why take the time making the list?

Of course, I’d love to be able to make, and keep, a resolution to eat healthier and lose weight in 2012. The chances of it happening are pretty slim, though, seeing as eating seems to be one of our favorite pastimes here at the Times.

We’re an eating bunch, no doubt about it. As a matter of fact, there’s an unwritten rule that you’d better not leave anything on the counters in the kitchen if you don’t intend to share it with everyone.

Who brought cookies?” someone might ask while venturing back to the kitchen for a soft drink.

Cookies! Did I hear cookies!” will come the replies from those of us within earshot.

Can we eat them?” someone might inquire.

Well, they’ve left them here on the counter, so they’re fair game,” another will say.

You’d think a fire had broken out and everyone was taking refuge in the kitchen to fight it with the sink sprayer as employees make a mad dash for a cookie.

Yes, we’re an eating bunch. That’s for sure. Nothing lasts long once it finds its way to our kitchen.

I’d also like to resolve to eat healthier in 2012, but there’s not much chance of that happening either.

It seems every time I buy “good for you” foods something happens to keep me from being able to get home to cook before it rots.

Rest assured the foods we find hanging out on the kitchen counter at work usually don’t fall into the healthy category.

The powers that be may think ketchup is a good substitute for vegetables, but I don’t think cookies, doughnuts, cake, chips, and the like will be finding their way into the vegetable category anytime soon.

If they ever do, I’m going to have to start a garden.

We do, occasionally, get some vegetables in our diets here. That is, if you count the onion, peppers and tomato sauce on our pizzas or calzones.

So, you won’t find me making any resolutions this year.

After all, if the world’s supposed to end this year anyway, why do I want to worry about what I’m eating?



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