Widgetized Section

Go to Admin » Appearance » Widgets » and move Gabfire Widget: Social into that MastheadOverlay zone

Home » Archives by category » Opinion » Janet Hanks (Page 3)

Nightmare Before Christmas Carols

It’s three days before Christmas, and the Research Department (Motto: We Do The Thinking So You Don’t Have To), has been listening nonstop to Christmas songs and has come to…

Grammar Police

It’s very close to the end of the semester, and the Grammar Police Department (motto: To Correct and Serve), has noticed a strong uptick in criminal acts against the English…

Thanks for calling Bombast Cable

Thank you for calling Bombast Cable Services, Incorporated. I just want you to know that your satisfaction is my goal today. How may I help you? Well, I’m trying to…

The Beetle, with apologies to E.A. Poe

Once upon an evening dreary, while I pondered, sick and bleary Over many a student essay that could only make me snore, Suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone’s…

Antiques Roadshow comedy tour

The other night I watched my first-ever episode of the Antiques Roadshow, in the company of our youngest daughter, who is a big fan. After a painting that somebody bought…

Dinosaur moment

The phrase “senior moment” has always irritated me. It offends me that the inability to remember things becomes some sort of age-specific problem. I know plenty of people younger than…

Awareness awareness

If you drive, breathe, or wander through Walmart, you are aware of awareness ribbons. These symbolic loops of color adorn bumpers and lapels, and proclaim to the world that the…

S is for Spider

For as many years as I can remember, I have been afraid of spiders. I don’t like the ways they move, the aggressive angles of their legs, or their horrible,…

Humor can be risky business

Writing a humor column is risky business.  I learned this many years ago, when I accidentally (no, I tell a lie; I completely intentionally) insulted a large metropolitan area in…

Sept. 15: A day of insignificance

The Research Department, to no one’s surprise, has grown weary of the newsmongering profession, particularly the breathless sort that requires a dark suit and way too much makeup. Even avoiding…

Page 3 of 41234