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Fire Up the Mastodon

Back in the days when men were men, women were women and everyone was named “Og,” surviving the winter meant making sure there was enough mastodon for everyone to have…

Old coat

Want to know something that’s both happy-making and kind of a bummer at the same time? The length of visible daylight today, Jan. 29, is 40 minutes longer than it…

Better Homes and Gardens

On these nights when it’s been too cold even for the pup, I’ve been curled on our sofa with a real treat – my mother’s 1953 edition of the “Better…

Fighting flu the traditional way

By now everyone with a functioning immune system is aware that there’s a flu epidemic out there, the worst one in years. This year’s flu vaccine “missed” the main strain,…

A brief and utterly unreliable history of the Christmas card

For many generations after the events of the First Christmas, nobody bothered to celebrate it. For one thing, they’d sort of lost track of the original, except that it was…

Clamshells for Christmas

This is a public service announcement from those of us here at Alarmist Media, ever vigilant in protecting the public from themselves, each other, and most importantly us. This just…

O Christmas poo

Dear Santa, You know how, two weeks before Christmas, you keep getting these requests for world peace and stuff like that? This isn’t one of those requests. I do want…

Wreckage

By Janet Hanks In the “Pronouncements Made While-You-Wait” Department, we would like to offer this for your consideration:  the finest form of transportation known to man is the bicycle. Well,…

Fun facts for the Fourth

By JANET HANKS, Featured Weekly Columnist Today is the Fourth of July, the day  Americans traditionally celebrate our national independence from Great  Britain.  This is an interesting choice of day,…

The Christmas Memoir

I have had less Christmas spirit than the Grinch lately, a problem somewhat compounded by the relentless cheerfulness on all sides.  This has caused consternation among my friends, so, to…

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