Duncan Suzuki

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I’m just showing my age

I realize I’m going to be showing my age with this week’s topic, but I just have to share my opinion.

Every generation makes some “fashion” statement that irks their elders: Beatles haircuts, long rocker hair, punk spikes, rattails, etc.

I’m sure parents were horrified when girls first started getting their ears pierced. They probably were all the more horrified when their sons came home with pierced ears.

I can deal with all of that, but when it starts to look like creatures are crawling out of noses, there needs to be a line drawn somewhere; especially when that person is in a job that requires them to wait on the public.

During a recent shopping trip in Christiansburg I was having difficulty locating an item, so a clerk asked if she could help me. I appreciated her offer of assistance, but imagine my surprise when I turned to look at her and it looked like a scorpion was crawling out of her nose.

She had a nasal piercing, but it was through the septum, which separates the left and right nostril, not the outer portion of the nose where a piercing is more common. Whatever she was wearing in that hole looked like two pincers from my perspective; hence the appearance of a scorpion crawling out of her nose.

I couldn’t stop staring at her nose. Regardless how hard I tried to ignore the piercing, I just couldn’t draw my eyes away.

How am I supposed to take her seriously when it looks like a creature is crawling out of her nose? Why is her employer letting her wear it? Those were questions that started running through my mind.

It was bad enough a few weeks earlier when a clerk had a ring through the septum. All I could think of then was a pig laying on a platter with a ring through its nose. Why would that be an appealing look, I asked myself.

I admit the ring was more appealing than the creature crawling out of that clerk’s nose, but I can’t imagine choosing either look. I wouldn’t want to have the pierced holes in my earlobes stretched to the size of a quarter either.

I wonder whether any of these people have ever looked at a National Geographic?

If they had, they might realize that some day they’ll be able to use those stretched out earlobe holes for jump ropes and they might get their chin stuck in those nose holes when they’re trying to eat.

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